Regrets, I've Had a Few
2003-04-23 � 7:24 p.m.

...the kinds of things that i save from my past, print-outs of painful memories: an email circa 1997...

"Preston,

So I know you must hate me or something, and most likely you will scoff at this e-mail the moment you read it, and I guess I don't really blame you. I saw you last night at Lidia's reading, and was really missing the e-mails you used to send me, your interesting company, and you just thinking of me as a friend in general. I wanted to go over and talk to you, but I was too shy. I was too scared you would excuse me with one of those clever and mean quips you always told me you were so capable of. Well, I believe you, and I don't like the fact that I might be on the receiving end of things, but I completely understand why. I also don't like that I have this small glimmer of knowing what caring person you are (in addition to being talented, eccentric writer guy that everybody knows about), and not being able to talk to you anymore. Basically, I wish we could talk like real people so that you could tell me why you're so mad at me or why you hate me so much. I realize this is a lot to ask. You can ignore this e-mail completely if you wish. I would just like it if we could be friends again if that is at all possible. I hope to hear back from you.

Robin

P.S. - I wrote this e-mail on Friday and it's been sitting in my postponed box all week. I'm just now getting up the nerve to send it."

this is what i leave scattered in my wake. pain, misunderstanding, self-doubt and anxiety. i create in others the very feelings that i dread in myself!

that's one definition of failure.

-t

Currently Aurally Inducing: Star Control 2 Soundtrack, "Attack!"
Selection of the Lyrical Vocabulary: n/a

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