Just a Short List
2004-02-09 � 5:49 p.m.

Life is so fux0red. I'm on multiple kinds of pharmaceuticals, with my dosage doubling as of tomorrow. I'm visiting various kinds of doctors at least once a week but usually more often. I make almost no money at the crummy job I am so close to being fired from that you can't even measure the difference with the width of a human hair, in spite of the fact that the program I run for said job accounts for almost forty percent of its revenue. The things that are broken in my head conspire to keep me isolated and lonely, and I have more than a sneaking suspicion that my best friend's ex-girlfriend is on the verge of making some sort of move on me in spite of the fact that I have tried to make it clear that not only am I not interested but she's my best friend's ex-girlfriend and so off-limits anyway (you are not allowed to date your friends' sisters or exes — them's the rules). But, as stated, I am isolated and lonely and so it is difficult to say no when asked to come and do social things, even when I know that I should. Perhaps I should throw myself under the wheels of a bus?

-t

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