With Gratitude
2003-04-18 � 11:14 a.m.

I thought that Nastenka's pseudo-rape fantasy about me was the nicest thing I've ever had said about me, to me, but that was before I went and read Midelne's entry.

I honestly don't know what to say in return, save express my disbelief and gratitude.

Many things are revealed in Midelne's fairly lengthy missive. Profound things. Scary things. Things that made me feel small and things that made me feel hopeful. I've read it twice, and I'm going to need to read it several more times before I can come to grips with it, I think.

But, Mid, there are some things I want to say right off the cuff (which is kind of not even the case, as I have read it more than once already, and some few hours ago):

Firstly, I was very deeply emotionally affected by the content, intent and extent (if you will allow me the conceit) of the post. In some ways I think that speaks to the veracity of what you were saying and in others points out my sudden inability to filter my own emotional state (if I was ever able to do so).

Secondly, holy freaking crap, your heart stopped?!!? While I appreciate that this is a "moment of choice," it is also a moment to freak the fuck out! Have you discussed this with a medical professional? This causes me no small level of concern, sir. I don't think that I, or the Universe, is quite ready for you to be found stone dead of unknown causes on your bathroom floor, regardless of your current sleeping partner. Tell me you're not ignoring this.

It gratifies me in ways that I cannot even fully grasp myself that you think I am worth the effort you have gone to. I still don't know where I am, who I am, or where I am going, but you have certainly planted a flag for me to serve as a navigational point. That's fucking significant, man.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You.

-t

Currently Aurally Inducing: Kikuko Inoue, N-Paka March (Crayon Kingdom Opening Theme)
Selection of the Lyrical Vocabulary: "N-Paka, N-Paka!"

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