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ShortDurPerSave
2002-11-26 � 12:36 p.m.

The nameless guy at "Lovely Tire and Wheel" is my ShortDurPerSave1 for this morning.

I started driving to work only to hear a lovely "thwup-thwup-thwup" noise. I stopped, I examined my tires, and lo and behold! A great big bolt stuck into the left front one.

(Insert roar of rage and much fist-shaking at the sky, followed by extended grumbling.)

But the nice guy at "Lovely Tire and Wheel" (and it was quite lovely) pulled it out, stuck a screwdriver in the hole, and then inserted some sort of plug that appeared to be coated with liquidized rubber. He took my tire pressure, pronounced me good to go...

...and only charged me five bucks!

Yay!

Truly, my Slack was flowing this morning.

-t

1 -- "ShortDurPerSave" is a wonderful little device that's part of one of my more favorite religions. It stands for "Short-Duration Personal Savior." See, the thinking is that while it's all well and good to have some sort of long-hair ex-hippie as your Personal Savior, he's going to be a busy man, now isn't he? He needs substitutes, proxies, and stand-ins. Or out-and-out replacing. Enter the ShortDurPerSave! So versatile, so flexible! Able to fulfill whatever needs you have at the moment!

"This muffin is so good! It is my ShortDurPerSave."

"Thank goodness for the rain -- now I won't have to go on that Nature Hike with that miserable bitch. Rain, you're my ShortDurPerSave!"

"The commuter train is my ShortDurPerSave, because it ran over my boss today."

The Short-Duration Personal Savior concept was so popular and effective, that the Short Duration Marriage was formulated next. Marry for as long as you want! Five minutes? No problem. Long enough to have a shag in the backseat of your car without feeling guilty? Here we go!

See? Not all religions are bad.

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