Suck Suck Burn
2002-11-24 � 11:09 p.m.

Sigh.

I did it again -- I hurt someone's feelings. Yes! Even after bemoaning what a useless bastard I am, I went right out and managed to do it again. The only thing keeping me from being morose and guilty over it is that I was trying really hard not to do it. The person was just on a collision course.

Gack.

SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK
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SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK
SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKBURNBURNSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK
SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK
SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK
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SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK
SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK
SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK.

Mostly things are okay though. Mostly.

I didn't really accomplish anything at work yesterday -- instead I wrote a story. It was bad (really bad), but I wrote and wrote and wrote -- more words in about four hours than I managed during the whole time I was pretending to be motivated about NaNoWriMo. I only stopped because my fingers were hurting from too much typing.

It isn't finished, and when I thought about it today I realized that it never will be. I'm bored with it, and I think it is garbage. Isn't that interesting? Yesterday I was so driven to accomplish it that I worked on it to the exclusion of all else, and today it could be a small pile of dirt.

I am not right.

My roommate -- the one that doesn't work, and is completely supported by his parents -- is in Mexico for Thanksgiving.

I made a pilgrimage to my home town yesterday evening for a friend's birthday. I saw folk. I saw people who are married, who have children, who have mortgages...many of them younger than me.

They seem happy about it. I wouldn't be, but then I don't know what would make me happy, so there you go. I am pretty sure I wouldn't want to be tied down to a new housing evelopment and a thirty-year loan from the bank though.

I'm going to go drink.

-t

Currently Aurally Inducing: Placebo, Untitled
Selection of the Lyrical Vocabulary: n/a

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