Politcal Intrigue at Work
2002-11-09 � 2:15 p.m.

FUCK!

My computer just rebooted itself. I lost a whole long, gigantic rant. You should be glad though, because you're now going to get the Reader's Digest version, which is way better.

The rant was all about how, during the few days I was gone, an instructor attempted to do a political end-run around me and my department in an effort to grab more resources (and power) for himself, make me (specifically) look bad, and make more work for me in the process -- all with my boss's spineless, half-assed and ignorant assistance.

It was pretty far gone and near to happening but one thing saved me -- the fact that the instructor's department chair likes me, and came to me today to ask what the whole thing was about. I managed to defuse the situation by making it all out to be a misunderstanding, undercutting the instructor's whole position (which was that we were "preventing" him from teaching his class).

I hate slimy, under-handed, manipulative bastards like this guy. He just made a very bad mistake.

It's a mistake people often make about me, especially around here. Because I look younger than they expect of someone in my position, because I look to faculty members like their own students (for whom they have zero respect), they assume I will act and respond like a kid, that I won't recognize certain kinds of behavior, that I am incapable of certain kinds of behavior myself, and that they can get away with treating me like I am irrelevant or worse.

I have had to disabuse several people of these notions since I began here, and it appears as though there is another candidate in the queue right now.

The question now is how to respond. I've thwarted this fellow's project in the short term, but it's going to come back -- he's that kind of guy. I would like to find a way to shut down his current crusade in a public, abrupt way that can very visibly be traced back to me...but I'll settle for just crushing his ambition.

I think the best thing to do is to deny him access to the classroom most of this current go-round has been centered about. It's not a classroom that his department usually uses -- he was only there this term due to a scheduling conflict. (He liked it in there though, because I take care of it, while the other classrooms his department uses are taken care of by my useless co-worker. Hence, this classroom is a lot nicer than those he is used to. I doubt he made that connection when he started to make me out to be an idiot -- and did I mention how much I like that?)

But it doesn't belong to him or his department -- and the department it does belong to likes me a whole lot, and owes me a bunch of favors besides. His heavy-handed tactics the last few days might be played against him with a few words dropped into the right ears. I think I could manage it so he's never allowed to teach in that room again.

That would suit me just fine.

That fat greasy fucker. Die!

This has also driven home to me yet again that my own boss is a useless flesh-sack. Rather than stick up for me when the emails calling me a useless hindrance to instruction started flying about, he tried to placate -- which in his world means, "give them what they want so they'll go away." He had any number of opportunities to quash this travesty early on, but he played along for some unknown reason.

It's plain that I can no longer depend on my boss for either guidance or protection (if I ever could). The time may be here to forego his edicts altogether and start to run this place the way I want to -- hell, I hate it the way it is now. If I get fired, at least I get unemployment.

I am now pasting in the original email that started this power-grab. Read between the lines and relish the weasely insinuation! There are also a couple of factual errors...but they could be unintentional. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent and to more accurately define some parties.)

Department Chair,

CIS140D enrollment at Rock Creek this Fall is very good. And, even though we have only offered the class once, since CIS140 is on the required list for the CIS degree, I expect good enrollment to continue in the Winter and Spring.

As I mentioned to you Wednesday, room 2/247 has been a good classroom for CIS140D, and I would be happy to be able to teach the class there again for Winter and Spring. The class is from 9-11am and the lab is held there from 11-11:50am.

Last Tuesday (11/5) Temek's Useless Boss and Temek told me they had re-imaged the hard drives, reduced the user privileges to disallow the creation of new user accounts, and put cmos-passwords on the student computers in the 2/247 computer lab. They also said no changes were necessary for the instructor's computer. I told them I was very happy with their changes. CIS140D needs a classroom and a lab and 2/247 meets those needs even better after the changes.

-Fat Greasy Ass-Fuck

P.S. When I asked Temek about the possibility of installing removable hard drive racks in the lab machines, so that student mistakes wouldn't affect other classes, he said it could be done at Rock Creek, AND that the CS department had also requested the removable hard drives, but, overall, he wasn't very encouraging. I've also made some inquiries into the use of removable hard drives at the Capitol Center and at Sylvania. Sylvania hasn't gotten back to me yet, but the feedback from Some Tech at the Capitol Center is that the students there do not have to supply their own hard drives. He did say that the hard drive rack that the hard drives fit into is not very expensive-- less than $20 for low-medium performance hard drives. (Apparently, the latest, high performance 7200rpm drives generate a lot more heat and need racks that dissipate more heat.)

Here, for your edification, is my decoding of that email, using my knowledge of intra-campus politics (FTE means Full Time Enrollment, and is the Magic Number that is used to calculate everything from number of faculty to how much money my department gets per year to spend on paper for the Open Computer Lab):

Person Who Manages the Budget for My Department,

My new class generates a bunch of guaranteed FTE, which means more money for our department.

I like the room I am teaching in this term. I would like to teach there again, which you should arrange for me to do, because my class generates guaranteed FTE.

Some things happened in that room that may be blamed on me or my students, so I want to cover my ass and say that I approve of the measures taken to correct the problems. To re-iterate, I want to teach in this classroom from here on out, and since I generate FTE, you should smooth the way -- even if I get blamed for problems.

-Fat Greasy Ass-Fuck

P.S. In my wisdom and generosity, I proposed a solution to these problems to Temek. I couched the solution in the concept of making less work for Temek, but really am suggesting something that will grant me more power over the room and its resources. Temek said that such a thing had been proposed before by the CS Department, and even though he told me that it was rejected out of hand, I won't mention that part. Instead I'll tell you that from a technical standpoint it is possible. Temek, however, was dismissive, obviously not interested in helping us keep the FTE I am generating for our department. Interestingly enough, if I move my class to the Sylvania campus or to the Capitol Center, I can have what I want. Of course, that would mean those campuses would get the FTE...but for what I mistakenly believe to be a low cost, you could help me keep that FTE, and the money that it would mean for our department and campus, here. YOU SHOULD MAKE MY SUGGESTION HAPPEN, OR YOU WILL LOSE PART OF YOUR BUDGET.

I'm burning him down. Oh yes.

-t

Currently Aurally Inducing: Built to Spill, Center of the Universe
Selection of the Lyrical Vocabulary: "Just keep watching your TV, hating what's to see, waiting for someone to say something that's right!"

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