I Cough on Joe Schmoe (But Only Because I Cannot Help It)
2003-10-14 � 6:45 p.m.

I have joined the Legion. The Legion of the Sick and Coughing. We are Many, and if you're not careful, we'll be coming for you.

Yes, you!

I had to blow the dust off this place when I came here to post this entry. Long time, no see. How have you been? I see that my stupid countdown script is broken � or, actually, works great. It's just counting down the wrong thing.

Life, as is its wont, is busy making me hate it again. (Bastard life! I hate you! *eyestab!*)

Things are either really simple or really complicated. The interesting part is how the simple things can turn complicated without any notice at all.

---

I know I'm coming late to this game, but that's typical. You have to understand, I'm slow. My thoughts flow like molasses on a cold winter morning, and I track trends less like someone from Sex and the City and more like that old guy driving the Cadillac too slow in the fast lane.

Yeah, that guy.

Anyway, I'm becoming hooked on Reality Television.

I never saw anything in them before now, really. Sure, I watched enough Real World to be able to say, "Um, didn't that one dude slap that chick in Seattle?" and, "That Ruthie chick was crazy in Hawaii." You'll have to admit, that's pretty far from fanatical watching. But those others? Survivor, etc.? Garbage.

But, starting with the last Real World, Road Rules Challenge (that would be the "Battle of the Sexes" one that I watched all of but still couldn't tell you which tropical locale they were in), I started getting hooked. Blame my roommate. Blame the drug problem. Blame the snarky quality to the entire thing. Blame what you will, but the truth remains: I was hooked!

So flash forward to the present, and see me watching almost as much Reality T.V. as I am the West Wing, and that's on every night for those of us unlucky or unwise enough to subscribe to Bravo (which also means it's on twice on Wednesdays � ouch!).

The newest Real World, Road Rules Challenge is pretty good, but I'm ranking it third on my list of three. It just hasn't gripped my imagination the way the last one did. Of course it's still early. There is potential for more. I'm looking forward to some sleazy one-night stands.

VH1's Surviving Nugent would win hands down if it hadn't been so hurried. I like the Nuge, and I like the arbitrary, sadistic nature of the show. The cast wasn't the best, but by the end I was truly rooting for Darren, the eventual winner, so I guess it was a success that way. Watching that poor vegan girl break down in the face of Ted's relentless Alpha Male Hunter persona was a treat. (I don't have anything against vegans, it's just self-important preachy people I don't like.)

But the true cream of the crop is from the dubiously named Spike TV Network, and goes by the innocuous name of Joe Schmoe. Have you seen this? It is BRILLIANT people. Brilliant.

The concept, in case you are not familiar, is simple: there is a *ficticious* reality television show called "The Lap of Luxury." Our hero, Matt, believes that he has been cast on this show. He will go and live in an extravagant mansion and compete with other players for one hundred thousand dollars and other prizes.

But he's the only one who thinks so.

Everyone else is an actor, hired by the Joe Schmoe show. They have everything scripted out (well, almost), and the object is to see how far they can take it all and have Matt still believe that he is on a "real" reality show. I guess it has more in common with Punk'd, Scare Tactics or The Jamie Kennedy Experiment than, say, Survivor or The Bachelor, but that's all for the best, I think.

The thing that makes this show great is Matt. They couldn't have gotten a better guy. He's PERFECT, so nice, so earnest, so interested in playing the games and winning the money. He's not a sleaze, and he genuinely tries to support the other "players."

I almost cannot describe how entertaining I find it all to be.

In fact, I'll quit trying. Instead, I'm going to go home and suck down some more ineffectual over-the-counter cough medication.

Yay! It tastes like cherry!

-t

Currently Aurally Inducing:
Selection of the Lyrical Vocabulary:

[ last ] [ next ]

�	Int4rw3b Personals

�	Gene Wolfe

�

Image Fix

�	Again, I Return. (Gonna have to knock this off...)

�	A Return of Sorts