Serve Me Up Some Surveys!!! You Ass.
2003-04-16 � 4:46 a.m.

Since my major contributions to this place lately have been self-pity and being absent (a blessing in disguise, no?), I will now indulge myself by completing QUIZES! Or would that be 'SURVEYS!'? Who cares? Some of this is old ground, but...

Suck it, punk.

01. What is the song you think of when it's raining? Um, 'Prayers for Rain'? Yes, I know � I am predictable and boring. But I do.

02. What part of the day do you feel the most alive? Right before I fall asleep. Or maybe it's when I am asleep, only I just don't remember?

03. What age do you think was your best? Seven and three quarters.

04. What was the best compliment you ever got? Um...hmmm. Well, I was once invited to give a speech at this workshop they would hold every year for kids just starting in competitive forensics...they get to see all the different kinds of events and ask questions about how it all works. So I got asked to come and give the After Dinner Speech section, which yes, is a compliment, but not really where I was going with this. Because the ADS speeches are supposedly designed to be given to large groups (say, after dinner?) the final ADS round is traditionally held in front of the entire tournament directly before awards are given out. So, to be as 'authentic' as possible, the workshop people asked me to give my speech in front of everyone. Okay, sure � no problem. There were only about two or three hundred of them, I think, so no big deal. Well...I was doing fine until during one portion of my speech when I was miming being a snot-nosed kid and make this big snuffling noise...and my nose starts to bleed! Yes, brigth red blood suddenly pouring from my face. I had to retreat to the restroom and put my head between my knees for a few minutes to make it stop.

What, the compliment? Well, when I came back (hell yes I was going to finish!), I got one of the biggest rounds of applause I have ever received. I guess I was a good example after all. That's nice.

05. What is the strangest thing you own? I suppose it would be the "Taunting Tanya" blow-up sex doll, but I really only own it by default. It truly belongs to someone else.

06. What does your favorite t-shirt say? 'I'm With Stupid' but the finger points straight up.

07. What name do you think best suits you? Sabrina.

08. If you were on a television show which cast would suit you best? TRL, baby! Not.

09. If you were a flavour of jellybean what would it be? Green.

10. What is your most annoying trait? My utter self-involvement.

11. What do you think people don't appreciate about you? My ability to curse a purple streak.

12. What compliment do you receive most? What a fucking stupid question.

13. Do you dance alone in your room? Never.

14. If you could heal one person physically, who would it be? Emotionally? I'm not answering this question.

15. What do you want people to say about you after you die? 'That asshole. He deserved to die.'

16. How many times have you truly been in love? Never.

17. What do you think people would find most surprising about you? That I haven't killed myself yet.

18. Who do you think is the best looking actor and actress? The dude who plays Ronald McDonald and this woman I saw doing a toilet bowl cleaner commercial. She had The Look.

19. Do you talk to your pets? if so what do you say? I don't have any pets. Besides which, I don't talk to anyone. We covered this.

20. What is your current favorite song? I quit listening to music. It's dumb.

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Survey More...

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01. If you could name yourself what would your name be? Buckwheat McKracken.

02. Favorite Day of the year: Walpurgisnacht.

03. Favorite Day of the week: Yesterday.

04. Favorite Color: Black, because it's easy.

05. Song that describes how you feel about your life: Um...'Mandy'?

06. The person that you hate the most: Justin Massey. That cockhole.

07. Favorite Word: CRACK!

08. Three qualities in a person that you find attractive: Heavy drug usage, severe obesity and a nice smile.

09. Most Annoying Celebrity that you wish would go away: Shakira. 'nuff said.

10. The song that makes you turn off the radio every time you hear it: I don't listen to the radio for music anymore for this very reason.

11. If you could be anyone or anything, what would you be? Chef Boyardee. That guy has got it made! Either that or a twenty-five foot tapeworm in your colon.

12. What is the stupidest thing you have ever said? I know how you feel. Because, see, I didn't. I still don't.

13. One thing you like about yourself: I'm not a murderer.

14. Favorite thing to wear: Socks. Socks are underappreciated.

15. You can listen to any kind of music but: Lite Jazz. *shudder*

16. Most memorable year in your life: 1934.

17. The thing that annoys you the most: Close-mindedness. And stuck up, arrogant, holier than thou ass-monkeys.

18. A band that has no business making CDs: Christ, where do I start?

19. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? If I only get to change one thing, I'd probably change my state of matter � I hear that life as a plasma is much easier.

20. If you could have anything right now, what would it be? A spike driven through my left forearm.

21. Longest relationship: Fourteen minutes.

22. Does true love last forever? This questions presupposes that 'true love' exists, which it doesn't, so ROAR!

23. What�s in your car? Um, seats. And a glove compartment. And floor mats. Shall I go on?

24. About how many CD�s do you own? Three.

25. If you were to kill yourself, how would you do it? Now this is an excellent question! I have often said that I would like to fling myself from a building, strapped with explosives, and blow myself to chunks in mid-air. But that's lame. Honestly, if I was going to do it, I'd probably shoot myself in the face. Take that face! Pow!

26. What would you do for a thousand dollars? Um...not much. I am unmotivated by money.

27. One word to describe yourself: Blar.

28. Favorite food: Raw chicken heads.

29. One person you wish you could have sex with: I'm way too repressed to be able to answer this question.

30. Three things you fear the most: Spiders, physical contact with other humans, emotional openess.

31. Movie that you could watch a hundred times: Canonball Run II.

32. Emotion to describe the way you feel about life: Rage.

33. Random Word: Hieroglyphic.

34. How many times have you fallen in love? Not more than zero and way less than one.

35. How many relationships have you ended? Today? Or total?

36. Stereotypes people make about you: People seem to get this impression that I am smart and able, which totally blows my mind because I am so clearly not.

37. Would you rather talk about someone behind their back or to their face? I'd have to be talking to another person in any case, wouldn't I? Yeah, that would be the flaw with this plan.

38. If you could eliminate one thing wrong with the world, what would it be? Sin! Oh, that sin! So...sinful. Down with Sin!

39. Peircings? I have a rather shrill scream, but not quite piercing, no.

40. If you could run away right now, where would you go? Venus.

41. Favorite place to shop: I don't shop. My lack of fashion is mind boggling.

42. People who don�t understand you: Are legion...but that's true of everyone, isn't it?

43. Would you rather be different or like everyone else? Being like everyone else is impossible. Besides which it would be dull.

45. Favorite toy you had when you were younger: My dad gave me my grandfather's WWII bayonet. That thing RULED.

46. If your life were a CD, what would be the title of it? Music By Bad Musicians You Won't Want To Listen To.

47. Something you can�t understand no matter how hard you try to: People.

49. If you could take a picture of something right now, what would it be? I don't take pictures.

50. Favorite website: We Love You Avril!

51. One thing you shouldn�t do, but do it anyways: Try.

And, as the crowning glory...

Which British Band Are You?

Lates, kidlets. I suppose I should go to work, but I think I'd rather peel my skin off with super-heated tweezers.

-t

Currently Aurally Inducing: oHgr, Kettle
Selection of the Lyrical Vocabulary: "Towards a lonely lesson offering retraction, a memory hanging on now, hung by the neck."

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