STRIFE!
2003-01-07 � 11:42 a.m.

Yes -- it's the first week of school. And I only clocked fifteen hours of overtime last week! Who'd a thunk it?

And yet I find myself strangely unfulfilled. On Saturday, as I spent hour after hour after hour completing the tasks that my coworker should have completed but was either too busy with her hobbies or too incompetent to do, I was severely frustrated. I.e, at several different times during the day I screamed out "FUCK!" -- which can help a lot to relieve stress, but I realized it wasn't working very well when I threw down a floppy diskette and took great joy in jumping up and down on it (I really did this).

But I did it. I did my work, and her work, and finished my extra projects besides. That made me feel pretty good. I mean, I like to get things done, and I like to get things done that other people doubt that I can do.

Even yesterday went pretty well. It sucked, but in an okay way. The first Monday of the term always sucks. This is because even though I shouldn't come in on Monday because I will still have to work on Saturday, someone had better be here when everything opens and starts up because what if things go wrong? And even though it's mandatory overtime for me, I'm the one who does it. My coworker has never even volunteered.

But things didn't blow up, and the thing I was worried most about went pretty smoothly, and I was patting myself on the back all afternoon about how nice it was.

But then I realized something with a startling and frightening clarity this morning as I scrambled to make power-hungry instructors happy.

I hate my fucking job. I HATE it.

I am trembling right now, because my dunderheaded coworker just came to me and told me she couldn't get her CD to load. it just doesn't work, she says.

Problem? It won't "autoplay."

She can't even launch a fucking application off of a CD by herself. I have to go show her where to click.

Now we're fighting, because I gave in to my frustrations and I told her that she should seriously consider the fact that this job is not one that gets easier -- in fact it is one that only gets more complex. The more things change, the more you're going to need to know, and she's already so far behind the curve it ain't funny.

I think I made her cry.

I am such a cock.

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